So it’s been awhile. My life since starting my writing blog looks very different. I used to be a full-time wife. Now I’m a single mom 2/3 of the month while my husband works out of state. Talk about an adjustment! We also did a major overhaul to our homeschool (which I am very excited about) and we’re beginning to look for a home to BUY. I so sick of renting, I can’t even tell you. And… my little sister, who has been writing by my side for at least 2 years, has quit for a season. Meaning, young motherhood – that takes years to get out of, you know. *insert tears*
I think I mentioned in an earlier post that I could foresee that I was hitting a brief period of time that would not be conducive to much writing. I was correct. However, the more time slips by, the more anxious I have become. The seeds of doubt look like, “What if I was just fooling myself all along?” or “What if Dave was saying my story isn’t good enough to capture my target audience?” or “Shouldn’t I just be happy being a Mom? Why do I have to make my life more difficult? Don’t I do enough?” and of course, “I’m insane. No one homeschools 7 kids AND writes.”
This evening I was kind of telling the writing group a hint of what I was feeling. For the first time in a few months, I just said what was on my mind. I was considering chucking the whole project. I said that once to my husband, and my daughter overheard me. The response was not pretty. The bottom line – I’d better finish, or I won’t be forgiven. E.V.E.R.
When I finished my email, I checked the inbox. My daughter’s mentor for her online World History Class had sent me a copy of an email he had sent to her (well, it was to all the students). It was exactly what I needed to hear:
“As excited as we all are right now, we WILL go through what I call “Dissatisfaction Phase.” It’s normal. It’s when we say to our selves, “I’m tired. I want to check out. I want to glide through. Maybe there aren’t any nuggets that will change my life. I don’t want to look hard anymore.” Etc… When you start feeling that way, please… TAKE COURAGE and continue on. Fight to become the person you were meant to become regardless of that “lower self” trying to tell you that quitting is easier, or faking it is easier. The best way to get out of dissatisfaction phase is to study harder, choose a book to finish and a deadline to finish it, prepare a presentation and give yourself a date when it has to be done, rethink your goals, seek to see that vision of you in the future, and how much your efforts will pay off. ” ~ Dr. Andrew Goft
Hmmm…. sounds to me like I’ve been listening too long to a lower self. 😉 Maybe take that last line and say, “The best way to get out of dissatisfaction phase is to study writing books harder, choose a book in your genre to finish and a deadline to finish it in, prepare a chapter and give yourself a date to turn it into your critique group, rethink your goals/priorities, seek to see that vision of you in the future, and how much your efforts will pay off.”
Obviously, I’ve hit my “Dissatisfaction Phase”. The easy thing to do would be to quit. Only, easy isn’t always right. I learned that lesson with my son’s adoption. The reality is, I have A LOT on my plate. And I don’t think I could have accomplished what I have without all the brain and muscle power going toward the family these past few months. BUT…. at this point, the fact that it’s coming up, seems to say to me, “It’s time – waiting until Nov. is procrastinating.”
Maybe I’ll start posting some chunks of manuscript like I did on the old blog. That could be fun. 😉
Some other great quotes that have found their way to my eyeballs recently:
Frances Ellsworth said:
I am glad you have that support and that when you need it the support is there.
You are talented and dog gone it, I want the rest of the story. ; )
Thank Mom. I joined a writing critique group this week. I have to turn in a chapter EVERY week. Or at least a revamped one. How long do you think they’ll let me continue with the same blasted chapter? 😉
You sound just like Athena – she wants the ending too. I guess that’s an A+ for me, huh? I’ve got your interest!
“While it looks difficult, it is not impossible.” -Spencer W. Kimball
I love that quote! We talk ourselves into thinking difficult MEANS impossible (at least I do).
You’ll get there with your writing. I just know it! One day I shall hold in my hand a (hopefully signed copy) of your first published book!
We memorized that quote in our homeschool this week. It keeps running through my head when I make up new excuses. Bottom line – I’ve just got to do the work and prove to myself I CAN do it. Believe me, when I’m published, you, Selma, my sister and my mom on are the top of my list for autographed copies. Well, and Russell too. But that goes without saying, right? 😉
I completely understand and relate to what you are saying here, Aine. First of all, I just wanted to say how delighted I am for you that everything is coming together – particularly about buying a house. I am incredibly pleased for you. Renting wears thin after a while.
I am in a similar situation with writing. I want to do it but it is a time issue. Maybe there is an element of lack of faith in my abilities. I don’t really know. When I experience a lot of stress my writing suffers. I need to be calm to write well.
But I digress. I think you’ve got the goods. You know I do. If you can muster the energy to continue writing, I’m sure it’ll pay off. I have a lot of faith in you. You CAN do it XX
Selma, after reading your post from the other day, I am amazed at the short stories I read, and wonder at the stuff you write that you don’t show the world. Time has become my hottest commodity – I’m still learning how to use it so that it works for ME. Thank you for your faith – I appreciate it! I have faith in you too – I look forward to exchanging books someday. I already told Redbeard someday I must have a trip to Sydney to give you a big hug for all that you’ve done for me. 😉
Haha – I just called Russ Redbeard on this blog. 😛