Recently I had a puzzling experience. One night a friend of mine had acted much like the loving, kind, gracious person I know and love, and then a few weeks later changed for a day. It no longer seemed like he/she wanted to have anything to do with anyone that didn’t seem to be on board with their agenda. I would say it was confusing, but I understood where my friend was coming from in the social setting we were in. Some would say it was necessary.
Except, we had been in that social setting before, and this was the first time my friend had acted differently. That night when I went home, I laid in bed a long time thinking about the day’s events and what was going on with him/her. Unlike my husband, I don’t have the capacity to shut my brain off when I go to bed. It likes to ponder until I have a conclusion… which in the end I decided my friend was dealing with what the Arbinger Institute calls a warring heart (see video below).
Normally this person isn’t like that, but people aren’t perfect. Everyone has off days – that’s why we all need unconditional love. If we were only friends with perfect people, we wouldn’t even be friends with ourselves. That’s why you love them and respect them anyway, no matter what’s going on.
True friends deliver.
What does this have to do with writing? As much time as writers spend behind a computer, getting read is still very much a social game. Even if you plan on publishing via ebook and using book bombs, blogging and the like to sell your book, if you have a warring heart, it’ll show. The only way to true success is to have your heart at peace – no matter what your profession. Only then will you attract the success you desire. Whether that’s readers, agents, fans, business partners, etc. – you can determine the outcome by discerning where your heart is.
I’m happy to report that it seems my friend has found peace again. That’s always a happy state of affairs.
Here’s a short, five min. video that shares a historical story that illustrates the point in Anatomy of Peace (which is an excellent book, btw). It’s worth the five min. 🙂