The Glass Pen

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Epiphanies

I have to thank the stalker woman who was taking photos of my child off my personal blog and printing them out for who-knows-what-reason.  Because of her, I took a sabbatical to examine the reason behind why I blog.   After all, blogging is not the dream – writing the novel is. When I bought this domain I was attempting to follow my writing mentors’ advice:  to be published you  MUST have web presence, and one mentor went so far as to say, “Don’t put any of that personal stuff on there.  Keep it professional.”

Okay, so I tried that.  A personal blog, a homeschool blog, a poetry blog, a recipe blog, a flash fiction blog, a writing blog, a personal history blog, a book blog… etc.  And those are just some of the ones people know about.     Then that thing happened and I ended up shutting everything down…  and even after an attempt of resurrecting myself on blogger as anonymous I found myself in this place of, “What’s the point?”

Talk about an inspiration killer.

Then I got this little kiss from heaven from my friend, Susan:

I MISS YOU! I miss your sassiness, your laugh, your knowledge of all things “interesting” that I end up believing in, I miss [your daughter]. I miss YOU!!!! I miss reading your blog! I hope you are doing well and know that you are super duper LOVED by ME!

When I read this I suddenly saw my blog parade like a shoe store.  I’ve tried on sneakers, sandals, cowgirl boots, high heels…  the attendants are panting in the aisles with tissue paper and boxes piled high.  To those of you who have followed them all – thank you.  I know it’s been exhausting.    Then there’s that last shoe box which opens to reveal the glass slippers I’ve been looking for – the perfect fit.  And guess what?  They were there right in front of me with a blinking neon sign saying, “HERE.  HERE.  HERE.”

I don’t know why some of us choose to try on different shoes.  Maybe if I hadn’t tried all that I would be constantly looking over the fence WONDERING if I’d like myself better in boots.  Now I know I don’t.  I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that either.  It’s like I get so competitive with myself, I forget that sometimes it’s just an experience I’m having.  It’s got NOTHING to do with me, except giving me an opportunity to learn and grow.

No more apologies, no more switching back and forth.  This is the domain that bears my name, so it’s the one I’m going to stick with.  The crazy stalker lady can stick a sock in it – I’ll just have to be more careful.  *shrugs*  I chose the new name “woman with the glass pen” because while the Cinderella metaphor works, the truth is I really can’t see God giving me glass slippers to walk in.  Geez – we’d see me doing a repeat appearance of my wedding day when I missed the chair in the endowment room because my mother didn’t hold it down for me and I disappeared on the floor with my dress high above my head.  (True story – Mom had to reach in the middle to pull me out.)

I don’t think God sets us up for failure.  Instead, I see Him handing me a glass pen saying, “You’ve got your direction – now stop eating your words and write what you’ve been wanting to say.  People want to hear it.”

I guess what I’m trying to say is, sometimes we don’t know what we want until we know what we DON’T want.  And that’s okay.  Let yourself experience it, let people love you where you’re at.  Know that they don’t judge you for changing your mind.  What they really want to see – the people in your life that matter – is you happy doing what you do, fulfilling your greatest potential, and living the dreams that God put in your heart.

THAT is the point.

PS  I’ve missed you ALL.  Thank you for your kindness and understanding and sweet words of encouragement and emails like Susan’s.  We all need cheerleaders.  Everyone does.  And Susan, I love you too.  You still have not come to see my super-duper cool old house!  🙂

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Darn that title anyway!

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Epiphanies

I have decided that I’m going to have to change my title.  I have mixed feelings about it, because I really liked Verboten! My sixteen yr. old said, “Oh come on – what teen doesn’t want to read something that’s forbidden?” But..  I’ve been told that typically editors don’t like to use foreign words for titles.

I kinda ignored that for two years as I’ve developed this novel, but I’ve come to realize as I get deeper into it that Verboten! makes the novel sound like it has to do with Germany.  While a lot happens in Germany, that’s not the focal point.  Kinda misleading…  The story arc takes us back to the Norse.  Not to mention I don’t want forbidden thoughts going around in people’s heads when they pick it up!  Or worse, won’t pick it up because of the title!  Sooo…  here’s my big reveal.  *Drumroll*

The Son of Asgard.

I haven’t told my daughter yet because I know she’ll fight me on it – she likes the shortness of Verboten! I can’t think of anything that short and mysterious for a new working title!  I considered The Warrior of Asgard, but that’s misleading too.  That would be a better title for a later book.  When I get that far.  * cough cough*  Anywho,  think I should keep my old title or do you like the new one better?  Thoughts?  ‘Cause I could use some.  😉

Truth is, for all my braveness, I want to quickly delete this post and go back to Verboten! 😛

PS  Can anyone tell me how to delete the sticky I put up there?  ‘Cause I can’t remember how I did it!  Brilliant!!!!

The Epiphany

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Epiphanies

I have written that darn prologue so many times it’d make your head spin.  It’s been as large as five and a half pages and as short as two paragraphs.  I’ve tried intrigue, mystery, action, romance, etc.  to engage the reader.

The funny thing is, I always get people saying, “Oh wow, I want more.”  Except one loan voice who said she was glad to leave that era and move on to my protagonist.  She was a woman who was younger than anyone else that seemed to have a good ear for what young adults liked.  I was listening, but not understanding.  She was giving me a huge clue.

Just recently I posted my latest version of my prologue.  I thought I had it.  I sent it to the critique group who had a few technical things to say but on the whole liked it.  It was my sister’s critique that once again bothered me the most:  “I don’t know who I should care about.  I liked the intrigue version better, because I cared what happened to Inger.”

ARGH!  Not that I expect to please everyone, but when something like that gets said it makes me sit up and look a little harder at my work.

This morning I started reading David Farland’s Kick in the Pants emails – I was backed up this week on them.  That’s where the epiphany came from, although the previous critiques prepared me for it.  I’m reading his analysis of why Harry Potter worked so well.  He’s describing the opening scene in book one where Harry gets left on the doorstep.  He describes the demographics that are laid out for the reader to soak up.  And although I’d listened to Dave say the same thing at the writing conference, it didn’t click until now.

Although Harry wasn’t written in the dialogue, he was there.

You care what happens to the baby, don’t you?  That’s what my prologue has been missing the whole time.  I’ve been trying to write a dual story with Inger and Joey.  It won’t get me the results I want.  My protagonist needs to be my focal point.  He’s the one you need to care about, be thinking about, etc.

I’ve been writing this like a Clive Cussler story.  Seriously, I have thought many times, “Clive Cussler does it this way.”  Meaning, he tells you in his prologue the back story – he sinks the treasure that Dirk goes after.  The genius in that is that he’s creating a personna for the treasure – he makes you care about it being FOUND. The other thing I hadn’t considered – Clive Cussler has his niche – not everyone wants to read his stuff and he doesn’t care – he makes a dang good living doing what he does.  But is that what my goal is?

In that sense, I could continue on with making Inger worth caring about, but it would only appeal to an older audience.  I run the risk of loosing my YA audience before they even get to Chapter One – not to mention an agent putting it aside.  OR…

put Joey there.

It might just pay to begin with the end in mind.  Heh heh

Don’t you love time stories?  😉